L.G.D.K! Coy Memory 02 – Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked?

Author’s Note: Welcome boys and girls to Coy’s second “Memory”. I’ve actually edited this one many times before posting it here, even after writing other future events. This one was difficult because of trying to write in “real time”, which I’m not good with. But I’ll get better at it with time. Still, the world in which this story takes place is hard to explain. I will write a glossary in the future. But for now, please enjoy?

When I woke up, I felt like I had another hangover. My surroundings were that of my bedroom in my rundown apartment. The whole damn place had white wallpaper with golden reeds all over it. Bright side is that the gas lamps weren’t leaking out, which is surprising considering the state of the building. I still had my pants on, but all I was wearing was an undershirt on top. But I didn’t care, I had to take a leak. However, when I made it to the bathroom… I had an unexpected surprise.

“Mr. Coy, you’re finally awake!” (Abby)

I immediately fall backwards from the shock. The first princess of the Undersea Empire was in my bathtub.

“Princess? Why the hell are you in my bathtub?”

“I’ve been waiting here for you to recover.” (Abby)

That’s right, I ended up fighting some of Earl Balsac’s personal guard to protect her. For some strange reason, I had passed out after the fight.

“How long?”

“It’s been four days.” (Walton)

The last person I expected to even be in this rundown apartment, my boss. What I expected even less… him walking into my bathroom.

“What the hell?”

“Seriously, you have been out cold for four days. Not even the doctor could figure out what happened. Oh by the way, I’m docking you for three days pay.” (Walton)

“Boss, I really wanna argue right now. However, could you please leave? I gotta go!”

“Alright, I’ll be in the living room.” (Walton)

After he left, I had one more problem to take care of.

“Princess, could you please turn around and cover your ears?”

“Alright.” (Abby)

She did as asked and I unzipped my pants in front of the toilet. Problem, I felt uncomfortable doing this with a girl in the room. The only thing I could think of was closing my eyes and imaging being alone. I cleared my mind of all thoughts, lost all awareness of my surroundings. A few seconds later, I started feeling relief as I could hear myself pouring into the bowl. When I was done, I finally opened my eyes and zipped my pants back up.

“So… that’s how males who live on the land do it?” (Abby)

“Wait… you looked?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist my own curiosity.” (Abby)

All I could do was blush while I flushed the toilet. I couldn’t believe that she peeked on me, she was supposed to be a princess after all. I just hoped that this wouldn’t cause a different international incident. So I washed my hands and made what felt like a walk of shame to the living room…

“What’s with the red face, boyo?” (Zeke)

“Zeke, why the hell are you here?”

As I looked around, I saw that DJ was there too. Just what the hell was going on?

“Now that you’re here, we can have our meeting.” (Walton)

“Boss, why is everyone here?”

“After you passed out, we had a meeting with Dalton. We all agreed that this was the best place to hide the princess until the church comes to return her to her father.” (Walton)

“Wait… the church?”

“Yeah, the church. Dalton contacted them when we told him that we found the missing princess in that crate. They’re the ones currently mediating with the Undersea Empire right now, so they were the only ones we could contact. Due to Balsac’s actions, it was best to not hide her at the local chapel. That was the first place that anyone from Portnew would look.” (Walton)

“Just how did we go from a shady business to protecting a princess?”

“I’ll pretend you didn’t say that first part. Anyway, this was Dalton’s idea as no one would even think about this place. It’s the last place anyone would look for a missing princess, I know I wouldn’t.” (Walton)

“Thanks for the vote of confidence…”

In all reality, I was insulted.

“Now for why Balsac wanted her. I had been dealing with him for years, so I know how shady he really is. Actually, he makes me look like a saint. According to the confession from that guard who was arrested, Balsac was going to present her to the king of Portnew as a bargaining chip with the church. You know the current political strife between both Portnew and the church right now, or at least you should from all the schooling I’ve been giving you lugs. Portnew still isn’t ready to follow the current doctorate about abolishing slavery and serfdom. So they could have used the princess to get the church off their backs.” (Walton)

“So basically… we stopped Portnew’s plans?”

“Technically… we didn’t. This was all Balsac’s scheme to get closer to Portnew’s throne. Therefore we only stopped his plans. Portnew was unaware of what was going on, or at least that’s what the embassy is saying.” (Walton)

“So basically saying… the princess is currently in my bathtub because of a scheming aristocrat who was going over his king’s head?”

“There was another reason.” (Walton)

I didn’t like this as both Zeke and DJ were grinning from ear to ear. All I could do was sigh.

“What is it?”

“She didn’t want to leave her knight in shining armor.” (DJ)

“Wait… what?”

“She fell for you, boyo.” (Zeke)

“You’re kidding… right guys?”

“I wish they were. But after we got here, all she did was go ‘Coy this’ and ‘Coy that’. Not to mention that she asked if you already had a betrothed.” (Walton)

Just what the hell was going on? I’m a freaking criminal, not some Hero! I was only following orders, nothing more!

“Now how am I going to tell her that I have no interest?”

“Wait… how can you not have any interest in her? She’s a princess, she’s beautiful, and she has to be almost as bouncy as Clair.” (DJ)

He had to mention the female cow half-man who’s a waitress at Stony’s Tavern.

“You forget my preference, DJ.”

“And what preference is more important than all that?” (DJ)

“I’m a thigh guy.”

That’s right. I, Coy the coyote half-man, have a thigh fetish. As mermaids don’t have thighs, this wasn’t going to work.

“Really? That’s what this is all about!?” (DJ)

“DJ, shut up. Boss, when are they going to pick her up?”

“They should be here tomorrow. The church is going to use her holiness’ current pilgrimage to get her out of Anthill Bay.” (Walton)

That’s right, the new pope is currently on a pilgrimage to find a new hero for the war with the Demon Realm.

“Wait… please tell me that Pope Francesca III is not coming to this dump?”

“No way in hell is she coming here in person. Tomorrow morning, some of her elite guard is coming to take the princess. The Princess is going to be a part of the parade as a guest and her discovery will be publicly announced then.” (Walton)

That actually seemed like a smart idea. If the princess was part of the pope’s parade, then no one would dare to kidnap her. But there was one thing that was still on my mind.

“So what about us?”

“We’re to meet her holiness at the church’s embassy after the parade to be rewarded in secret. Even though we did all the work, the church is getting the credit. You know, the usual public image stuff.” (Walton)

Yeah, the church would have better ties with the Undersea Empire if they were the ones who rescued the princess. Not to mention… it could make them want to join our side in the war with the Demon Realm. Well… it was possible.

“In that case, I just hope that the princess doesn’t have a fit over who gets the credit for rescuing her?”

“You have a good point. Still, meeting adjourned. Also, we need more food here.” (Walton)

“Wait a minute… you guys ate my food?”

“Well yeah, these two lugs were here the past few days to protect you and the princess. Don’t worry though, I will be nice enough to pay for all the food they’ve eaten.” (Walton)

At least I won’t be out when it comes to food money.

“Also, we’ll have to get canned food. Sorry, but we had to refuse entry to the ice man when he came to change the block in your icebox.” (Walton)

Those assholes.

“Anything else you’re not mentioning?”

“Ezekiel violated you in your sleep.” (Walton)


“I did no such thing!” (Zeke)

“I know, I just felt like saying it. Anyway… I need you lugs to take these.” (Walton)

He opened a suitcase that I didn’t see earlier and revealed some new blue zoot suits. These ones had pinstripes.

“The new Walton Trading Company uniform. As we’ll still be attending the parade tomorrow, we need to look our best. Also, take these.” (Walton)

He then handed all three of use a black neck-tie.

“Congratulations, you three have been promoted. I officially declare you three lugs as the best of the best in both the Walton Trading Company and the gang. And yes, you will all get raises after tomorrow as most businesses will be closed tomorrow due to her holiness’ visit.” (Walton)

I couldn’t believe it, I finally did it. Not only did I get the highest possible position under Walton at the company, but I was now a made man. The first good news I had all day. I couldn’t help but to wag my tail.

“We did it, boyos!” (Zeke)

“We’re black ties!” (DJ)


“Now, let’s get some drinks. I think I saw a bottle of whiskey in the cabinet yesterday?” (Walton)

Wait… he found my stash? The bottle of whiskey that I had been saving for a special occasion? Oh well, it was now time for it anyway.

“Sorry pa, but Zeke drank the whole thing.” (DJ)


All I could do was glare at the dwarf. I had been saving that whiskey for a time like this and he drinks while I’m unconscious? That short bastard!

“Don’t be too upset boyos, I actually did you a favor. T’was a poor quality.” (Zeke)

“Zeke… that’s not the point. That wasn’t even your whiskey to drink.”

“Hey, I’ll pay you back.” (Zeke)

“Yeah… right…”

That damn dwarf always wastes his pay at Stony’s Tavern. Not to mention that he owes me at least twenty pieces of silver already. It made me wonder how long he would had lasted in Boromarl as a frontiersman like he originally planned.

“I’ll get some. Also, I’m deducting this from Ezekiel’s pay for ruining the original plan and because the bottle of whiskey in question will not be replaced otherwise.” (Walton)

Don’t tell me that he was planning to drink my whiskey from the start? Still, it was a little poetic because Zeke couldn’t argue with that one. What goes around comes around as they always say.

After Walton left, Zeke and DJ went back to playing cards. It was about the only thing around here to do if you didn’t want to read the old newspapers that I had yet to throw away. So all I did was take the suit that was mine and hang it up in my room for tomorrow. It was a big day after all. I was thinking about taking a bath, but then I remembered something that I had almost forgotten. There was still a mermaid in my bathtub. And I probably left her alone too long.

“Hey there, princess.”

She lit up.

“Mr. Coy!” (Abby)

“Sorry that you had to stay in this place for the past few days.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mr. Coy. It’s actually a lot better than that dark crate.” (Abby)

All I could do was feel even worse about my reaction when I entered the bathroom this morning. I had to slightly change the subject.

“Looks like you get to leave tomorrow, are you excited?”

“To be honest, Mr. Coy… I don’t want to.” (Abby)

“Wait… why?”

“Because that means I’ll have to go home. And if I go home… I might never get to see you again.” (Abby)

I made it slightly worse.

“Look princess… I’m sure that your father misses you.”

“I know, and I miss him too. Wait… how about you come home with me?” (Abby)

“Wait… what?”

“Come home with me? Then I won’t have to miss you. And since you rescued me, I’m sure that daddy will approve of you. Then we could get married and then…” (Abby)

I had to stop her.

“But I can’t live in the Undersea Empire. If you haven’t noticed… I’m a coyote, not a fish.”

“You have a point. Wait, I can live here with you?” (Abby)

Things are getting worse.

“But you can’t, don’t mermaids need to live in the water?”

“We just can’t move on land too well. We don’t have to stay in the water, we can actually live for three days on dry land. As long as we can get fully hydrated within the three days, it will be fine as you have this bathtub. Not to mention we can breath in both water and air, so it’s not so bad.” (Abby)

Are you freaking kidding me?

“I’m sorry, but I can’t be in a relationship right now.”

“Wait… why so, Mr. Coy?” (Abby)

I had to do something that I normally didn’t do. I pulled out my pocket watch and showed her the photograph inside.

“This is me when I was a kid. And the girl next to me… is my sister.”

“Your sister?” (Abby)

“Yeah, my sister.”

“But… she’s human?” (Abby)

“My race is unique. When we mate with other races, the kid is usually one of us. But in rare circumstances, the kid is actually the other race. The girl in the photograph is actually my fraternal twin sister. It’s extremely rare when the children are twins that one remains human and the other is a half-man. Actually, me and my sister are the only case of this happening that I know of.”

“So… which of your parents are human?” (Abby)

“To be honest, I don’t know. Both me and my sister were left on the steps of the chapel when we were infants. I don’t have a clue on who my parents are or which one was human. All I do remember is that my sister’s name was Felicia and that she was taken away.”

“She was taken away?” (Abby)

“Yeah, it was not too long after the photo was taken. Some guys from another church took her and I haven’t seen her since. But one of these days… I plan on leaving this town and go searching for her.”

“What are you going to do if you find her?” (Abby)

“I’m going to ask if she remembers me. And if she does, I’ll probably move to wherever she is so we won’t be separated again? Who knows? All I do know is that I failed her as a brother. I’m never going to fail her again.”

I noticed the princess starting to cry. Before I could do anything… I heard two certain idiots crying from the doorway. I really need to learn to not let my guard down.

“That’s so sad.” (DJ)

“You’ll find your sister, boyo. I believe in you!” (Zeke)

“Hell, I’ll even go with you!” (DJ)

“Me too, boyo!” (Zeke)

“What the hell, you two!? How long have you been there?”

“Ever since boss got back.” (Zeke)

“Pa’s actually here with us.” (DJ)

“Will you two not give everything away?” (Walton)

“You too, boss?”

“It was taking these two lugs longer than I expected to get you. Still, how come you never told me?” (Walton)

“Because it’s my problem.”

“Coy, you’re one of my boys. And all my boys are like family… after graduating from white tie. And what good is family if they don’t look out for each other?” (Walton)


“Don’t argue. After our appointment with her holiness tomorrow, we’re discussing your journey to find your sister. Understood?” (Walton)

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now, I brought some decent whiskey. Let’s go drink, we got a lot to celebrate for.” (Walton)

“Don’t have to ask me twice, boss.” (Zeke)

We ended up having a small drinking party in my bathroom and the piece of hallway outside of it. Even the princess joined in on the fun. Not to mention she wanted to play with my ears, which was a little awkward. All I knew is that things were actually right in the world for a change. Sadly, no one knows what tomorrow will bring.

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9 thoughts on “L.G.D.K! Coy Memory 02 – Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked?

  1. Two mistakes that I noticed:
    1- There still a mermaid in my bathtub.
    (There’s) still a mermaid in my bathtub.
    2- Not to mention she wanted to play with ears.
    Not to mention she wanted to play with (my) ears.

    First time reading the novel with 21 chapters updated up to date so I doubt that this comment will be noticed, but I will still post this and maybe more corrections that I notice from here onwards.
    This original novel is pretty interesting so far and its plot is refreshing compared to the usual ‘other world’ novels I have read so far (I know that makes reference to MaouYuu, which I’ve only read the manga)
    Keep the good work.

    PS: I’m not native English, I’m Spanish and learnt the Uk English, so maybe I make some mistakes myself or try to correct something that is gramatically right.


    1. It seems that with the way I pointed out (with > <)the mistaken parts, my phone erased those parts from the comment -.-'.
      I'm rewriting them again with other signs this time:
      1- There -we- still a mermaid in my bathtub.
      (There’s) still a mermaid in my bathtub.
      2- Not to mention she wanted to play with -me- ears.
      Not to mention she wanted to play with (my) ears.


      1. You’re welcome.
        Some mistakes might end up unnoticed (if there are still some left), since sometimes I auto-correct it unconsciously while reading. Lol


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