Author’s Note: Don’t get turned off by the title. Just read it and laugh.
The failed Netori before Christmas
T’was the night before Christmas and all through the worlds,
children were dreaming, all the little boys and girls.
However… there was one naughty child,
and he had an idea that was more dumb than wild.
“I think I’ll commit Netori!” he laughed with a grin.
“I mean, what’s the use of traveling multiple worlds if I don’t give it a spin?”
This guy was once hit by Truck-kun, reincarnated as a sage.
However, he enjoyed filling other guys with rage.
So with a chant, he traveled to the world of LGDK (Let’s Go Devil King!) as if he had no time to spare.
All in his quest, to commit Netorare.
“I know of this world, and it’s god. It calls itself the Deity, it seems a bit odd?”
It did that matter, he knew how to get his personal joy.
So he was going after the harem of this world’s hero, Coy.
“Oh Yuki, oh Nia, oh Nakano, and Wells. It’s time to put you all under the most natural of spells.”
He used a cloaking spell to sneak into Inaharu Manor.
He was sure he’d get away with this, as long as he made no clamor.
This guy, thought he was slick.
But in reality, he’s just a little prick.
“Oh Yuki, I’ll go after you first. As you’re the main wife, for Coy it’ll be the worst.”
He tried to catch her off-guard, alone with nobody near.
But he forgot that her husband is not only a half-man, but also a yandere.
Coy had already caught his smell.
And stopped him from getting near Yuki, ready to send him to hell!
“Nice try dumb ass, but not good enough. Now get outta here, or I’ll be extra rough.” (Coy)
How he just f*cked, he already knew.
He didn’t get much time before a gun was to his temple, Coy already drew.
For this failed NTR-ist, it was already a race.
So he rushed from that world, to the next place.
“Okay… that was a bust. Despite LGDK rarely updating, Coy has no rust.”
When he looked around, he could all ready tell.
The world he was in now, is the one of LSPL (But She’s my Little Sister… from my Past Life!).
“Hopefully I’ll have better luck with the harem of Niko? Oh Miyuki, oh Chloe, and Ana. I can’t wait to make all of you unable to live without the taste of my banana.”
This prick managed to sneak into the castle of Wintergreen.
Thanks to the cloaking spell, by the guards was not seen.
His first target, the maid Chloe.
But when he got close to her door he said, “Is it me, or does it feel a bit snowy?”
When he turned around, he knew he should abandon all faith.
For the one who had found him, was the Silver-haired Wraith.
“I don’t know who you are, but you’re in for a hassle. I sensed your presence when you broke into this castle.” (Niko)
The intruder knew the reason for this strife.
He should’ve first tried for the little sister… from Niko’s past life.
After getting beat up by Niko’s mana-filled punches…
When the wannabe NTR-ist made it to the next world, ended up needing crutches.
“How did I fail not once, but twice this night?”
He knew that so far, it was far from his delight.
A new target, he tried to figure out.
But the idea left him with too much doubt.
“I could try for that world with an Anubai Hero… but when it comes to a harem, the number is zero.”
He again tried to figure out a target.
But the next idea… it was not worth it.
“Lost Justice is not a guy to cause irritation. Especially if I mess with Nagisa… I’m be a victim of castration. Not to mention Inarihime, she’s too picky about guys. And as for the Oracle… she’s just too wise.”
The latter two… were just a little over-powered.
So by giving up this early, no one would even call him a coward.
But the next idea… made him say with glee.
“I know they’re not really Leon’s harem, but I’ll go after those girls in RTMT (I Reincarnated Too Many Times)… oh Sofia, oh Neve, and Laurie, just wait for me!”
But a little to late, did he forget his own warning?
Leon is the most over-powered man alive, the failed NTR-ist ended up in mourning.
“Nice try, but you’re not really that strong from being reincarnated. I’ve gotten stronger from doing that too many times, it’s overrated.” (Leon)
The reason why our idiot got caught?
Leon has been around much longer, our fool didn’t give it enough thought.
“I know what you’ve tried, so don’t bother to lie. Could you say hi to Pauline for me, this time you’re gonna die.” (Leon)
Before the idiot could try to escape, Leon gave him his mortal release.
And now the fool stands be for Pauline the judge, juror, and executioner of the deceased.
“Now you fool, what in the hell were you thinking? Trying to commit netorare in other worlds? Is your brain rotten and stinking?” (Pauline)
“Actually if you look at the title of the story… it’s not Netorare, it’s Netori.”
“To be honest, I don’t give a damn. Give me a good reason to not send you to hell or make you reincarnate into a ham?” (Pauline)
“Oh come on, this was my Christmas wish! Just how did I fail, how did I miss?”
“You’re just a fool, not even a charmer. Not to mention everyone else just had better plot armor.” (Pauline)
Before he could argue, Pauline banged her gavel.
His surroundings had started to unravel.
He woke up not a human, a more fitting punishment for this sham.
All of his lives from now on, he’ll reincarnate into a holiday ham.
Now the story’s over, now you all may go.
Just have a Merry Christmas, just don’t catch a cold in the snow.
After Note: And that friends is my gift for you. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!